little friend

Making Vic's birthday present! A little donkey necklace ~ Almost done! Just got to pin the tail on it.

another life

revisiting places
i have only ever been to in dreams

walking down busy alleyways
that lead to places
that don't quite fit in

knowing people
knowing their personalities
or making it up as i go

it doesn't really seem to matter

i remember the walls
and the floor
i hardly look at the sky

i remember feeling lost
the first time i visited
and now it is all too familiar

i am going away so you can be

People always laugh when I tell them my skype address...

I used to think budgies were cute, OK?

---

I was on a packed train looking at this tradie man who appeared real tough. He had his iphone pugged in and was listening to music really loudly. I didn't pay much attention to what the song was... I was thinking more about whether or not he knew that everyone around him could hear what the song was. Then I caught onto the melody... It was Big Jet Plane by Angus and Julia Stone. I noticed he had closed his eyes. He looked really peaceful.

--

I was running to the station and ran into Tara outside. She had literally seen me run up a slight hill in a mad rush to get the train and it was awkward but really quite funny for both of us. We had a super quick conversation... but it was actually great. I was quite in a rush and a feeling a bit awkward and randomly said to her "sorry about the other day! I'm a bit retarded in big groups, I don't talk much.. cus I'm trying to listen to everyone.. I think I get overwhelmed! But the breakfast was nice! It was good to see everyone!" and she replied, "what! no! It's just me... I'm so dominating. I don't even mean to be! I don't let people get a word in!" and we talked about meeting up and having an actual one-on-one coffee.. which would be great cus I could actually get to know her. Hahaha. So that's something to look forward to in the future. She is such a hilarious character, she's so good with words.

I met with Casi after that. We went for drinks at Open Studio. I hadn't seen her in a really long time cus she had been in Berlin helping her Liam settle into his new life. I think all night I listened to her say how much she missed being overseas and also her thoughts about being apart from him. She'd only come back on Wednesday, so I knew that she was still adjusting and that our conversation wouldn't get to the point of being super happy or anything. We talked about having another day where we will bake a vegan pie and have it with soy ice cream. We talked about the feeling of not having someone always there and missing comfort. She talked about all the great vegan places (ice cream ones too, yum) she found in Berlin and how Liam bought a really nice, old, saxophone from a man who was sad to part with it. It was lovely to see her, but also a bit sad to see/feel that she is unhappy and a bit lost.

-

Steph came over today and we put fabric around the outside of the boxes we had made for our Studio class.

success

We had to iron a really large 3m piece of fabric so that it wouldn't look so creased when stretched around the box.... and we both kind of gave up because it was so difficult and we said we would just "design around the creases"

Steph took a photo of me while I was in struggle town, and made it a meme and sent it to me later in the day.... I laughed so hard.

no success

We went to uni and met with Michael and put together our boxes and did projection tests!

It was exciting to actually see it up and working. I think I will be going in tomo to try and figure out how to make different layers on the program. The people in the lab (none of which we knew) all made comments like "wooow so cool!" and asked us what programs we were using. It was pretty funny because we were using the default animation at the time... But it was really good to be practicing using something that we wouldn't have learnt if we didn't do this class.

Afterwards, I met with Jimmy and he treated me to dessert. He finished telling me the story that he started on the train a couple weeks ago and it was all really interesting to hear about his life. He is one of the more constant friends in my life and I think it's always kind of special to just hear about another person's life and things that they've experienced and then their own contemplations about those experiences.

Later, I met with Jing and Andy for dinner. We took him to the spicy fish place that we always go to. After about 10 minutes he started to slow down, sweat a bit and say "this ... is really spicy... I think I need more rice." hahaha. Jing and I were comforting him and telling him things like, "we were like that the first time we ate here! You've just gotta come here more often!"

It was the first time I've had dinner with both of them. It was pretty chill and afterwards we all shared a crepe at this french crepe place near our house. When we got home, Jing went into her room and was talking to someone and I gave Andy some rice milk and some herbal jelly stuff to "calm his stomach" cus it was "on fire" and he said he felt way better after that. Rice milk is awesommmee.

He and I talked a lot in the kitchen and just got to know each other a little more. He is a pretty nice guy and I am glad to have gotten to the stage where we're comfortable around each other and actually have decent conversations.

Good weekend, got through a lot of thoughts.

the things i find...

... when i'm cleaning out my computer. hahaha

making sense from avoidance

I had forgotten about your poems -
the ones you wrote in my book that night
I showered you with gold
and we sung together in a large, empty, room.

I had forgotten how much I loved your words
and your writing
even though I had told myself to remember
so many times

the leaf

colour test and first round of editing

3D mapping

Today, class made me want to punch myself in the face.

I was getting pretty frustrated at the program. I was the only one out of my group who was actually attempting to figure out how the mapping works and how to mask areas that we didn't want. The program is simple enough, but for some reason the computer was being a cray and opening dozens of pages (another classmate had set up the computer incorrectly) and it was really annoying to work with. I was masking one of our animations and then pressed a button that I thought would let me put another layer on, but it deleted everything I had just done and one of the people from my group was like, "ugh! do it again!" and i was like thinking, "hey man, chill your pants. we all don't know how this program works so don't get shitty at me for making a mistake. it's all part of the learning process and at least i'm giving it a go."

What was more annoying was that whenever Sean was explaining things to me, the others weren't even making an effort to listen. So, I've been taught and I know that later on, I will have to teach them or they will depend on me to set up everything next Tuesday.

Rahhh at least I have learnt some things. I'm happy about my own progress. Programs are always frustrating at the start, and I already feel more comfortable with it. I talked a lot with Sean today and he helped me quite a bit.

Again, I felt pretty bad for him. After class he was apologising for the fact that we hadn't had access to projecting till this week. It wasn't even his fault and he shouldn't have to say sorry. I think he's doing a really good job with what he's been given.

I cannot even handle that this assignment is work 30%. It actually worries me. I need to keep my grades decent because of exchange. roarrrrrs

practising

tuesday + wednesday

Tuesday and Wednesday were super long days for me. Studio class ran all day, we did a group discussion about the reading and then, in the afternoon class, we went to the industrial design workshop and built our objects that we will be using to project onto!

The workshop was good fun. I was super tired (always) at the start of the class, but I really got into it towards the end of the class. We did lots of drilling and that was quite fun (I didn't drill into myself- success!) We managed to finish all three boxes!! whooohooo. It was pretty hilarious, every 10 minutes or so Steph would say out loud, "ohhh shit." and michael and I would look at her and be like, ".... what did you do wrong! arggh! hahaha" 

yay

Afterwards I had some time to kill before heading to the Style Craft meeting so I headed towards uni to find Dylan, but ran into Ariel and spoke to him in the middle of the street for a while about everythang that has been happening in life over the week and enthusiastically fed him mangosteeeen. I always find it so much easier to talk to people one-on-one. I feel so silent in groupsss, I should work on that... 

After the chat, I ran to get some dinner and called Emma and met with her out of uni. She is such a funny girl. I quite literally always bump into her at uni even though we don't have any classes together cus she's in fourth year. She has so many awesome thoughts and I really like listening to her. We headed to Style craft together and talked about her thesis and other really interesting things which I, for the life of me, cannot even remember right now but I remember it was interesting. Ughh why do I always forget the interesting conversations.

The Style Craft meeting was great. I felt so much more comfortable than last time. We presented our own videos and discussed them and it was really awesome! Towards the end, one of the Style Craft guys said to us, "You're doing a lot for us, if there is anything we can do for you guys in return... just say! ... Mhmm. We can organise an interview with a few magazines if you'd like... like Artichoke or I-D?" and Dylan and I looked at each other and our faces were like O_O - feeling pretty overwhelmed with meeting people, but also excited.

He and I caught the train home afterwards. It was hilarious, we were walking to the train and I offered him some random fruit (I seriously had 2 mandarins, a banana and 3 mangosteens in my bag that day - yuuuum) and he took a mandarin and somehow i managed to unknowingly drop my banana somewhere in the streets of melbourne. I didn't realise till I got home and texted Dylan, "Bahaha omg I dropped the banana somewhere on the streets by accident. I hope no one slips." - that'd be quite funny though. 

----

Wednesdayyyyyyyy

I went to see Vic in the morning. Mark let me in and we chatted while I waited for her to arrive. I showed him a mangosteen and he got confused and I tried explaining what the inside was like and I said something like, "a white... mandarin sort-of inside" and he continued to look quite perplexed. Vic arrived and I did a little bit of work and gave both Vic and Mark a bit of mangosteen and Mark said it was "like a witchettery grub... but sweet" and I was not pleased with this description, hahaha.

Vic and I headed to NGV to see the "Unexpected Pleasures" exhibition. It was such a beautiful day to be walking around. The exhibition was really cool. It filled my head to ideas and new things to explore. 

I think the things that I liked most were:

Ribbonesia

Felieke Van Der Leest - Yellow Kelly

I like how random and cute Yellow Kelly is. I want it.

After that, we headed to Pieces of Eight to check out David Nealle's beautiful exhibition. 

I unenthusiastically headed to my tech class. I hadn't done all that much work for it, so I wasn't keen on going. But I had seen Ross the day before so I really couldn't run away.

Class was actually surprisingly good. Ross told us to sketch up our ideas if we hadn't done them already, so while he spoke to people one-on-one I drew up my ideas for a small lake retreat in canberra that comes off the side of the hill and faces out to the lake. We had to choose an actual site, so I chose this one place where I always bike ride to. I think that I have gotten really good teachers for this semester. I find Ross really helpful and I think that he will be even more so once we actually begin our proper technical drawings. He spoke to me last, and he was keen on my idea said, "i'd buy that!" hahaha.

I had so much time to kill before Pandas, Sarah and I saw Batman so I just went to Uni and did some editing for Animate Activate and chatted to Jimmy while doing the work. I called up Rainbow and we met for dinner. He's moving house really soon and might not be able to find a place, so he seemed super stressed. I gave him timtams to feel better. I was actually feeling so tired so I was trying to eat sugar so I wouldn't fall asleep before/during batman. He told me to drink a soft drink... so i did and lotsss of sugar is so not good for me. I became a super tired but a little bit hyper. Rainbow was laughing at me because I was so obviously tired. He was telling me to "eat something substantial" instead of miso. But miso is so good. When Pandas arrived at the cinema, he'd half finished his curry and I looked at him and was like, "... Haha you know I have to go riiiiight. I'm sorry to run away from you!" and he was like "You are ditching me!! rahhh" 

Batman was good! It was odd for me to actually see the movie. Beforehand I was telling Rainbow, "Dude... It feels surreal that im going to see Batman... I have been waiting to see it for ages and now... I AM ahhhh"

It was really great to see it with the Pandas and Sarah! It was like... a completely different hanging-out atmosphere than the other times i've hung out with either of them. It's actually the first time I've seen a movie with those guys... so that was a good first movie haha.

I couldn't help but feel kind of nervous when the movie started. I kept thinking about the shootings (cus I read so much about it, i really shouldn't have read so much into it) and this guy who was in front of me got up and went out of the cinema and I was thinking "... I hope he's not a cray" but he came back with icecream. So yay for no cray.

It was pretty hilarious seeing people's reactions to things. I think all of us were like "wtf" when batman got with the french chick. It seemed so out of nowhere. Andii burst into laughter at one point and I was like, "whaaat? why are you laughing!" and she was like, "It's the guy from dexter!!" and I was like, "bahah omg it is." Pretty funny to see him playing a police officer again. Every time Joseph Gordon Levitt came on screen I'd look at Sarah and she'd be smiling her face off. - but really Joseph Gordon Levitt is actually super. I kind of love him. Ariel would laugh every time the motorbike with the spinning wheels came on the screen hahaha I wonder if those could be made... I'm sure they could.

Anne Hathaway was super good too. My love for her went up when I found out she could sing. Talented peeeeooooooppppppllle.

I was so tired after the movie. We wandered to China town and drunk soup and then Sarah and I sleepily trammed home. 

Has been a really good few of days!! 

I have been meaning to write a few things that have been in my head for ages, but I am always so tired. I will write them soon hopefully. 

Tiiiime to rest ~~

cocoon

One Love - Bob Marley
Little Wonders - Rob Thomas
To Build A Home - The Cinematic Orchestra
Sweet Disposition - The Temper Trap
Volcano - Damien Rice
Featherstone - The Paper Kites

---

So, this morning I woke up and decided to get on with my Make assignment! The last couple of days has rendered me super exhausted. I have honestly just wanted my face in my pillow and to be covered in blanketssssss.

Heating the wax was easy enough. I hacked at the huge egg of wax and put it in the mini sauce pan. I learnt not to keep it on the stove long because the wax would start to fume (the alarm went off one time... and that really woke me up)

I tore lines of different tissue paper and mixed the into the wax.

I also dipped larger, individual, pieces of tissue into the wax and tried working with that.

I originally wanted to make a tissue and wax mask for my face. I wanted to mold the materials to my face. I tried doing it a few times... I just felt like it was sort-of dangerous because the wax would stick to my face and my eyebrows and when I took it off I really feared losing an eyebrow in the process. 

I managed to get a decent form, but I wasn't satisfied with the final outcome so I decided to move onto something different.

I think I wrote in a previous post, that I was interested in extending the body or creating another skin for it. I started looking at my hand as it's own kind of creature - It seeks shelter, comfort, ect. I decided to create a cocoon around my left hand.

I actually really love the final outcome of it. The colour of the wax almost suits the colour of my skin.  I found the tissue and wax such an interesting combination - the tissue was so soft and once the wax hit it it became super tough, but at the same time it looked fragile because of the qualities of the tissue.

cocoon

I had a really good time creating this. I totally messed up my kitchen though. There was wax almost everywhere. The process of it was not at all easy. At one point I wanted to extend the idea of the cocoon and start building the same sort of form around my shoulders and up my neck, I put all this "warm" waxed tissue on me and it wasn't working, so i took it off, put my glasses on and saw that my skin was so so so red I really thought I burnt myself. But after wrapping myself in a cold towel, I felt way better and the redness went away.

The most difficult was putting the wax on my face, cus I was really cautious about how hot the wax was before i put it on. It was difficult to know the exact time to put it on, a lot of the times it'd be too hot, or too cold. I think that if I want to make a mask... i'd have to use someone else's face. Hahaha.

Georgie liked my work -phew- I actually really adore her. She is so nice! Today she was showing us some of her silver work, and she was like, "Oh Izzy! I brought you this!" and handed me a small packet -Last class she took out a small packet that had a wet towel in it for cleaning glasses and I was like "ahh where do you get those? they are so handy!" (cus glasses get dirty or smudged often, esp when im working with my hands a lot) and so she gave me one of those today and i was so happy HAHAHA even though it's not even anything. It's just really nice and thoughtful of her and was a surprise!

At the end of class she went around to everyone to discuss our ideas for the next project. I was showing her my Make book (this small A5 that we're meant to document and write/draw our ideas in) and i was flipping through the pages and she was like, "Wait!! go back!" and took my book and flipped to the front and pointed at my drawings and said, "I really love your drawings!" and I was so happy. HAHAHAHA. I am so lame. But it just makes me so happy when people say that and it was quite unexpected.

Make is a good class. Not only because the teacher is so easy to talk to and good at teaching, but also because it is the complete opposite of my studio and tech. I feel like I am really able to let go of theories and rules and just -make- and enjoy the process. It makes me excited, and that is a really good thing.

Mmm. After class, I was on the way home and I was thinking how recently i've been kind of negative towards myself whenever I think "I really want to learn that." So... As most friends know, there are a lot of things I want to learn and I know that it's probably much better to learn things one at a time (focus on one interest at a time). I can't help but be excited to learn something or put it on my mental list of "things to learn before death" it's weird how this quality, which i find super positive, is or... at sometimes becomes a "negative" thing for me. I feel like i'm being unreasonable, or just silly to want to learn many things. Or I am overwhelming myself. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to give up on learning because of these thoughts, but I've got to just sort through them and figure out why there is some negativeness towards it in my mind.

I suppose it may be because I feel like I have spread my mind too far over many different things. I think that I do feel more lost at the moment, in that I do not see myself going in a certain direction with my life. I don't see a single job or career. I look out onto a vast sea and I don't know what direction I want to go.

I think that that is one thing I really want to be exploring over the semester. I feel like I need some internal/mental/subconscious confidence in myself and this journey. 

weowowoowo ooo o

lots to write about!

tuesday:
stylecraft
studio

wednesday:
vic - exhibitions
tech
batmannn

will probably update tonight!

almost burnt my face off this morning with hot wax. I really hope I don't have a line of red on my forehead later today >< trying to make a paper wax mask. it isn't working, so i made a cocoon for my hand. I feel like I'm making food cus I am heading wax up on the stove and mixing in paper towel. It is actually quite fun. Im getting used to the heat on my hands. There is wax everywhere though. I don't know how I am going to clean this eeeeeee.

photos later!